I have a bone to pick with all the parenting books out there, or at least all the ones that I have seen. Where is the dad’s point of view. Even the book for being a father by a well known breast feed advocacy group was so full of platitudes and assumptions that I threw it out. I had the reciept and the book was less than a few days old and I still threw it out.

That’s really why I have decided to start this blog, for me to have a place to tell things the way I see them and to try to start developing some father centric advice for once. Sure, we don’t have the babies, so what. Our children are as important to us as they are to our spouses, plus once you add in the importance of our spuse and us guys have a pretty good load of important things. But, just to set the record straight right now, I am not suggesting that anyone is a better parent, male or female, that any one has more or less invested in the health and well being of their child, I am just saying that since there is so much more that women have to do in terms of giving birth, most of the attention and support is focused on them. All I want to do is try to add a little more to the mix.

So, continuing my book rant. One book which I bought because it had a section on how to maintain and improve your marriage after childbirth had the helpful advice that my sex life was going to change. Obvviuosly the authors of that book (the aforementioned breatfeeding group) thinks that sex is the only thing that I am thinking about and that changing my attitudes about sex is going to improve my marriage now that we have a baby. Sure, that are of our life is going to change, but come one are you going to tell me that that is the only advice they can offer. Another book, which has been full of great advice so far, has a section on fathers and breastfeeding. This section said that even though I can’t offer nutritional value to the baby I can help by doing extra work around the house, those things which I might normally call “women’s work”. Who uses that word “women’s work”. The idea that less sex and extra housework are the key contribuations that I can make is crazy. What is crazier is that these authors and organizations think that that is all father’s want to hear is even worse.

So, plan on hearing more about this, and hearing my contributions to a real set of advice and tools for a modern father.